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Published:July 25th, 2008 19:29 EST
Drunk Man Blasts Lawn Mower With Sawed-Off Shotgun

Drunk Man Blasts Lawn Mower With Sawed-Off Shotgun

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn`t start. Keith Walendowski, 56, was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed."

Lawn Mower Quotation from the Associated Press (AP)

I`ve waged more than one epic battle with my lawn mower. I would pull the start cord until I was sweating from head to toe, but the infernal machine would fail to start. The damn thing wouldn`t respond to threats or curses -- a lawn mower is the most stubborn device ever invented.

I would fall in a heap to the ground, and then my 14-year-old niece or my lady friend would come by and nonchalantly start the demon-possessed contraption after only one gentle tug on the cord.

I`m not an engineer or a rocket scientist, but would it be too difficult to design a lawn mower that starts by simply pressing a button? No wonder my lawn usually looks like a jungle, I fear even approaching the lawn mower.

According to the AP story Walendowski was drunk while trying to start his mower. Nobody should operate any machinery, especially a lawn mower while intoxicated.

Blasting a lawn mower with a sawed-off shotgun ensures that it will never start again. Walendowski should be sentenced to an anger management class and he should be forced to write a thousand times: Blasting a lawn mower with a sawed-ff shotgun is not a good idea.