*The body of the Montauk Monster is in a crib in Angelina Jolie`s mansion, it`s her latest adoption.
*Tourists from West Virginia found the remains of the Montauk Monster and deep fried it for lunch.
*Rosie O`Donnell woke up from her drunken slumber, and she`s learned her lesson: Never fall asleep on a New Jersey beach.
*Prince Chunk, the 44-pound kitty cat, ate it for dinner.
*The Montauk Monster is in John McCain`s Arizona home, it`s being vetted for the vice-presidency.
*It`s in Dr. Phil`s green room, the mad doctor is going to psychoanalyze it on live TV.
*Dick Cheney came back to the beach, and picked up his illegitimate offspring.
*The Montauk Monster is in Geraldo Rivera`s freezer, he`s preparing to do a new prime time special: The Autopsy of the Montauk Monster.
*It`s in Whoopi Goldberg`s water bed, The View moderator wants to sleep with 100 lovers before she dies. With her looks, she can`t be too picky if she wants to accomplish her goal.
*The Montauk Monster was beamed up to the Starship Enterprise, it`s playing chess with Mr. Spock.