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Published:August 28th, 2008 10:25 EST
The Biggest Stars of Summer 2008

The Biggest Stars of Summer 2008

By Robert Paul Reyes

Every summer there is a hit song that blares for every radio, and one or more breakthrough stars who shine brightly and then fizzle out.

The biggest star of summer 08 is the Montauk Monster, in a matter of days he became an internet sensation. Americans will do anything to achieve their fifteen minutes of fame: Humiliate themselves in a reality show, commit unspeakable crimes, and perform dangerous and silly stunts to make the Guinness Book of World Records. But all the Montauk Monster did to achieve immortality was to plop dead on a New Jersey Beach. The photogenic creature graced the front pages of thousands of Web sites, magazines and newspapers. The Montauk Monster`s legacy is secure, his body disappeared so he can`t be unveiled as a rubber suit fraud.

The second most luminous newly minted celebrity of this summer is Prince Chunk, the 44-pound cat who waddled his way into our hearts. I`ve penned thousands of essays, but my only claim to fame is the couple of times I`ve been quoted by The New York Times. Prince Chunk became a superstar simply by lumbering down the downtown streets of a city. The mystery of how a 44-pound tabby became homeless captured the interests of animal lovers all over the world. It turns out Prince Chunk`s owner lost her home to foreclosure, and the fat kitty was turned loose to fend for himself. But alls well that ends well, Prince Chunk has a new owner and he will treated like royalty for the rest of his nine live.

Yoda, another feline, takes the third spot on my list. This cute kitty didn`t become popular by performing tricks, cat`s have too much self-respect to perform any stupid pet tricks. Yoda has four ears, and that makes him stand out wherever he goes. Yoda doesn`t look freakish, his ears are normal and symmetrical. Yoda didn`t seek fame it found her, his owner`s son innocently posted a pic of Yoda online, and he instantly became a worldwide celeb. As long as a dog doesn`t bit off Yoda`s ears, he will be famous for the rest of his life.

The fourth sensation of the summer isn`t a newcomer, but he enjoyed unparalleled fame this year. A couple of yokels from Georgia held a press conference to announce that they had a corpse of Bigfoot in a freezer, and the media ate it up. Unfortunately, a few days later it was discovered that "Bigfoot" was really a rubber gorilla stuffed with road kill. Bigfoot is a mythical creature with thousands of fans worldwide, let`s hope that he can survive this humiliating episode.

The only human to make my list is Heath Ledger`s Joker, the greatest movie villain in history. You can have your pretty boy movie idols, the Joker has cojones bigger than melons and enough charisma to fill the big screen. The Joker`s "magic pencil trick" puts any magic trick by Houdini to shame. Americans like heroes but they worship anti-heroes, and the Joker is worthy of veneration.

I`m very grateful for all of these celebs, all of the essays I wrote about them garnered a lot of hits. This is probably my last chance to milk a few more hits from their notoriety.