September 13th, 2008 10:07 EST
Top Ten Adult Halloween Costumes
Once upon a time Halloween was a holiday for the kids, but today it`s a multi-billion dollar industry that caters to kids and adults.
As early as September some adults are already pondering who or what they will be for Halloween.
Here are some ideas from the insane mind of a columnist:
Every woman has a yearning to don the Naughty Librarian look at least once in her life, and every guy has the fantasy of being dominated by a lascivious bookworm.
Ladies, imitate the appearance of Palin and you will have the Naughty Librarian look down pat. On Halloween, when you are dolled up like Palin, take advantage of your spouse/boyfriend and order him to take out the garbage, clean the garage and toilet.
Who doesn`t want to be Messiah for a day? Put on an Obama mask and pretend to heal the sick and raise the dead.
You won`t even need a costume for this one, just put on a big goofy grin and talk non-stop. Drawback: You won`t be very popular at your Halloween party.
This works best if you have a partner dressed like the Grim Reaper following you around.
Dress up like a giant weasel, everyone will know who you are.
Put on an Oprah mask and pad yourself with about twenty pillows. Drawback: You may not fit through the door of the Halloween party.
Smoke about twenty joints until your eyes are as glassy as marbles, and walk around holding a Pimp Cup and you will look like his twin.
Shave your head, lose your panties, run over a pedestrian on your way to the Halloween party, and you might even attract some photographers.
Tote a giant Bible and warn all the party people in the house that the Almighty is sending a tornado to smite them. Drawback: Someone may kick your butt.
You will be the hit of the Halloween party, just don`t attempt to duplicate the Joker`s Disappearing Pencil magic trick.