October 1st, 2008 17:42 EST
Bicyclist Has A Rough Day
It seems fairly obvious that a bicycle is not a car, but many cyclists behave as if they were driving. They put their lives at risk and impede the flow of traffic, by riding in front of a driver at ten miles below the speed limit.
We need more bicycle lanes for the safety of bike riders, and to preserve the sanity of drivers.
I hate everything about cyclists -- from their ridiculous shorts to their silly helmets. They belong in a circus and not on busy roads that don`t have bicycle lanes. But even I feel sorry for this bicyclist who had a particularly rough day:
"A man who was taken to hospital when he was hit by a train was knocked down by a car just six hours earlier.
Police said it was the second trip to the hospital in the space of a day."
This hapless fellow was hit by a train as he was walking his bicycle, and he was knocked down by a car when he was riding his bike. To add insult to injury the cops gave him a ticket for trespassing, because he was walking his bike on a bridge that is only wide enough to fit a train and is not intended for pedestrians.
The moral of this story is clear: The Almighty hates bicyclists, and if you ride a bike you are angering commuters and tempting God.