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Published:October 26th, 2008 10:49 EST
Stiffs Evicted From Funeral Home

Stiffs Evicted From Funeral Home

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A longtime Pontiac funeral home was forced to close Friday after its owners were evicted from the property, a move that prompted a wave of sympathy in the community and quiet protest in the parking lot.

Five bodies and the cremated remains of 22 others from the House of Burns Memorial Chapel, 195 South Blvd., were taken to the Oakland County Medical Examiner`s Office early Friday morning for storage. By midday, one body had been claimed by family members and shipped to another funeral home. Medical examiner staffers were trying to determine next of kin for the other remains."

As Halloween approaches the news is getting quite frightening: Wall Street is in chaos, John McCain is more erratic than a crackhead in search of a rock, and now even corpses are being evicted. Good Lord, even in death we can`t escape the effects of the economic crisis.

I love the name of the funeral home, "The House of Burns Memorial Chapel", it would make an excellent title for a horror flick. I can just see the promo: The House of Burns coming to a movie near you on Halloween. There is no escape from the House of Burns, where the scorching corpses are the lucky ones.

I`m not a fundamentalist who fears the burning fires of hell, but dear Lord I pray I don`t end up in the House of Burns. My body is going to be cremated, but I hope that the gruesome procedure will take place in a funeral home called "The House of Perpetual Peace."

John McCain has better odds of residing in the House of Burns, than in the White House. Thank goodness that we will get our scares on Halloween and not on the first Tuesday in November with a McCain win.

John McCain should open his home to the evicted stiffs, I doubt that his wife would be able to tell the difference between her hubby and the rotting corpses.

Happy Halloween everybody!