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Published:January 1st, 2009 12:05 EST
88-Year-Old Lady Gives Naked Intruder The Squeeze

88-Year-Old Lady Gives Naked Intruder The Squeeze

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The Multnomah County Sheriff`s Office said an 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man`s crotch and squeezing. Deputy Paul McRedmond said the man got into the house Tuesday through a sliding door. He backed the woman into her living room and pushed her face down onto a chair.

That`s when the woman reached behind and squeezed. The man tore free and fled."

The Associated Press

If I`m confronted by a naked intruder in my home, after a couple of seconds of stunned disbelief I would reach for my shotgun. But his dear old lady didn`t blink, she grabbed the bull by the horn. She squeezed the man`s privates, and the fool ran way in pain contemplating his shortcomings.

The intruder was caught a few minutes later by the police. I guess that night he was the only naked guy running while holding his family jewels.

I hope the brave elderly lady buys some secure locks for her sliding doors, she may not be so lucky the next time.