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Published:November 2nd, 2009 18:42 EST
Vigilantes in the Real World WTF!

Vigilantes in the Real World WTF!

By R.J. Smith

I am about to take you into a world you never knew existed.  Indeed, one you most likely never wanted to know existed. The world of the real life super heroes.  In case you are like I was just a few days ago, let me explain to you exactly what I mean.

 

I`m not talking about firemen who run into burning buildings to save old people or a Navy SEAL who snipes pirates and saves Americans.  Think more along the lines of a comic book.  Yes, comic book.  Guys, and in this case even a few girls, with masks who creep around the city looking for crime to fight and bad things to stop.

 

They call themselves, well, `Real Life Super Heroes` and they are serious.  Ordinary people like you and me ok, nothing like you and me but they are somewhat ordinary ok, they are `f**king crazy` who dress up in elaborate costumes and `patrol` the streets of cities and towns all over the world.  By `patrol`, I mean walk around, look for crime, and do absolutely nothing about it less they get their overly geeky asses kicked in.

 

Honestly, these people are more of activists than super heroes.  Many of them, or so they say, actually do good in the community.  You know, volunteering, helping the homeless, not throwing litter in the streets that sort of stuff.  I must give them credit for that aspect of their crazy little charades.  The world could use more people who do that.

 

Beyond that, these people are crazy and need metal help.  Criminals in the real world are not like comic book villains.  They are hard core individuals.  To deal with them we have police officers.  The rest of us have real jobs we go well, these days we do if we are lucky.  Comic book stuff is just fantasy. 

 

Here are some examples from YouTube of some `Real Life Super Heroes`:

 

Below is a guy who goes by the name of `Phantom Zero`.  He is asking all of his fellow masked avengers to make fools I mean, videos of themselves. 

 




 

Ok fine.  One crazy f**ker on YouTube isn`t news. This, however, was not to be the case.  This next guy calls himself `turd` or something like that (Hey, that`s what it sounds like).  As you can see, he can`t even help laughing at himself.

 






 

This next guy is a little more convincing except, we all know that isn`t his real voice.  His costume is also pretty lame.  Not as lame as the last guy, but lame is lame.  And Twinkies are Twinkies.  And this guy looks like he knows both all too well.

 




 

However, all is not just a bunch of cocks in this world of cheap masks and even cheaper black windbreakers.  This chick from Kansas is actually not too bad.  I don`t know how far she would get stopping DMX from drinking and driving, apart from about three inches from a black eye, but she is definitely not like the others.

 




 

Moving on, we have a MILF.  I do have to warn you though, she has a husband.  His name is `The Beatle`.  Are you done laughing yet?  Good, because this next video will make you laugh even harder when you hear about the `Great Teddy Bear Crusade`.

 





 

If the rest of them are clowns, this one is definitely the clown`s shoes.  He doesn`t wear a mask, or have a cool name, or have any hair for that matter but he does have a cooler car than the others.  Don`t let the blue underwear fool you; you know, never mind.  He is probably pretty gay.

 



 

 

By far THE BEST response to this guys `challenge` however, was `Captain Jack Fatttypants`.  According to him there is only one great justice in this world, and that is cookies.  When it comes to win, this one is leagues ahead of the rest.

 



 

Ok, that is enough of these for now.  If you want to see more, check out this link :

 

http://www.youtube.com/video_response_view_all?v=1VHeKCOcx4Q