Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:June 6th, 2010 08:39 EST
kitchen sink

Inmate Smuggles Everything But Kitchen Sink Into Jail

By Robert Paul Reyes


"The Wenatchee World reports that officers were flat-out amazed by the volume of contraband an inmate reportedly smuggled into jail Wednesday at the start of a three-day sentence for disorderly conduct.

kitchen sinkThe following items were recovered from the inmate in his cell, despite a strip search and pat down when he was booked: a cigarette lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of marijuana, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles.

All the items were stashed internally, according to Sgt. John Kruse, a Wenatchee police spokesman." Read More

"All of the items were stashed internally", that`s a very polite way of saying that this a-hole crammed all these contraband items up his wazoo.

The Keystone Kops didn`t discover the contraband when he was strip searched when he was booked. You`d think that the fact that the dude was walking very gingerly like a 99-year-old man would have been a clue that he was hiding something where the sun doesn`t shine.

This fool was ready to set up shop in jail as a tattoo artist, using needles freshly plucked from his rear end. It`s a good thing the clueless cops finally discovered his goodies, those contaminated needles could have caused an outbreak of diseases.

We must keep in mind that this idiot was sentenced to three days, he couldn`t have survived without tobacco and weed for three measly days? It must have taken a good three hours to pack for his stay in jail.

Dang, I`m going to start growing my own stash.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: