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Published:June 20th, 2010 12:48 EST
vuvuzela

Vuvuzelas: The Biggest Story Of The World Cup

By Robert Paul Reyes

The biggest story of the World Cup is the vuvuzela, fans by the thousands blow the plastic horns making watching a match an unbearable experience for anyone who isn`t a soccer fanatic.

A diabolically clever mind made sure that everyone could get their hands on a vuvuzela

VUVUZELAS ARE CHEAP

A sap who can only afford to dine on Top Ramen can afford one of these plastic horns.

VUVUZELAS ARE EASY TO USE

Even a small child can operate one. Wait until those horrible kids who live next door get a hold of some vuvuzelas.

VUVUZELAS ARE AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE

In soccer mad countries they are sold by street vendors, department stores, convenience stores, gas stations...

VUVUZELAS ARE LONG DANGEROUS INSTRUMENTS

If an idiot doesn`t blow your eardrums blowing on a vuvuzela, he might poke you in the eye.

VUVUZELAS ARE GAUDY

It`s appropriate that these toys come in loud garish colors

VUVUZELAS ARE ADDICTIVE

It`s addictive to play them, and it`s addictive to complain about them.

VUVUZELA CRAZE HAS JUST STARTED

It`s going to get worse, before it gets better.

See what I mean about the devil being behind this fad?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes