April 3rd, 2008 11:20 EST
Hey, Glenn Brandon Burke, What Should I Do? Week 2
Hey, Glenn Brandon Burke, What Should I Do?
(Weekly Advice Column)
Glenn Brandon Burke, M.A.Ed, is a
Motivational Speaker * Author * Columnist * Educator * CEO
And now offers a No-Holds-Barred Advice Column on your Education * Life * Career
* Real Life * Real Questions * Real Answers *
(Students / Inmates / Professionals / Non-Professionals / Anyone seeking advice)
Every Thursday Read Glenn's Advice Column Online at www.TheSOP.org
To Learn More About Mr. Burke, go to www.GlennBrandonBurke.com
Send Questions to: gbb@TheSOP.org
Dear Mr. Burke:
We live in a society where there is constant consumer and also peer pressure to buy stuff and own material possessions, in order to conform and be accepted. What should an individual do to challenge these values, and aspire to different and more positive and people-to-people attitudes towards the world, and also convince others to do so?
Dear Ms. Miller:
What a fantastic question! This will be answered in two parts. To begin, allow me to preface by saying that we do live in a monetary society, but it's up to each individual to choose how they want to live. Everything we do is about choices.
Regarding the "peer pressure" to conform, you must be strong enough to not allow what others say, think, or feel about you to determine who you are. Doing so only allows others to take and control your identity. You must be your own person -- thoughts, feelings, actions. Without that, then you will fall prey to the pressures of others and ultimately never be happy. If you're having difficulty making decisions on your own, and constantly conforming just to be accepted, I recommend you seek professional help. To continue, and from a female perspective, I consulted with a friend, "The All Knowing Lisa Stark," for whom I have a great deal of respect.
First of all, never try to convince people to change their attitudes about anything, its annoying. The only way to effect change in others is to be happy, peaceful and content with living your own life by your own standards. If you do that you will be leading by example, which is much more powerful than nagging. As to how to avoid the consumer and peer pressure, here are three easy steps:
Turn off the televisionNever read tabloids,"People" type or any popular/slick magazines
Spend your spare time volunteering for a cause in which you believe _________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey Glenn, I have been to your web page to read some of your personal story, and I really think it's cool how you changed your life and all.
Would you please help me with this tough decision? I am a sophomore in college, and am 5 months pregnant. My Mom wants me to finish this year, then come home, and live at home until the baby is born, and then go back to school this fall. My mom is willing to raise the baby. The baby's dad said he would be willing to pay half towards an abortion, but I won't consider that. Will the baby think my mom is her mom? Are their legalities involved? Please just advise.
College Mommy 2 Be
Dear College Mommy:
First off, thank your Mom for being so kind and understanding. Secondly, take her up on her offer. If all goes well, you should have your baby in July. Just in time to nurse your baby, and then return to school. If possible, transfer to a school closer to home so you can be more actively involved in your child's life more regularly. If that's not an option, then be home as reasonably as possible so your child can get to know you. As far as your Mom raising your child, set ground rules in regard to your involvement, and that once you graduate and get your career rolling, she understands that you will be raising your child. If you stay actively involved in your child's life as much as possible (holidays, session breaks, etc.), your child will grow knowing the difference between you, her Mother, and your Mom, the Grandmother.
Since abortion is out of the question, and not only because you've chosen not to do it, but also because most clinics will not perform an abortion after the first trimester, the bio-dad's offer is a moot point. As far as the legalities, you will need to consult a Family Law Attorney regarding your Mom and the baby's bio-dad.
Have your baby this Summer, stay actively involved in his/her life as much as possible, complete your education, start your career, and you and your child have an awesome life! _________________________________________________________________________________________
I am "Zoneziwoh" and have been dating this guy for over four-years, I respect him but all he does is listen to all my phone calls, read my messages, sometimes goes to the extend embarrassing me whenever a man visits me . Actually, I find it difficult to break up, I don't know if I love him and I really want to forget him. What should I do?
Let's address one point at a time...1. You write that your respect him. However, by him listening to your call, reading your messages, and embarrassing when a male friend visits, he is apparently trying to possess and control you. Therefore, how can you respect him? 2. It's difficult to break up. 3. You do not know if you love him and 4. You "really" want to forget him.
It sounds as though you've made up your mind. So make the right choice and RUN! Relationships are not based on control. But rather mutual respect, love and trust. And you do not have any of that. You know what to do. So just do it!
Hey Everybody! Remember, everything we do is based on CHOICES. And it's up to each person to choose what’s best for them. Just remember, the right CHOICES take you to the right places. And well, you know where the wrong CHOICES lead. Now do the right thing! -gbb
Photo above taken by Hardy Wilson/The Coloradoan.
For More Information: www.GlennBrandonBurke.com.
Judyth Piazza chats with Glenn Brandon Burke, Motivational Speaker