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Published:November 30th, 2006 18:31 EST
 Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny Have No Future

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny Have No Future

By Tom Crozier

To be fair, I had only seen the HBO show a few times when it was on the air. My tastes hadn`t quite turned to the darkside that is the D during my formative years, but what I did see amused me. 

When Napster started causing lawsuits and expanding music collections, I began collecting some of the funniest tongue-in-cheek songs I had ever heard, and played them constantly at work and in my car.  Tenacious D worked because they were a cheap thrill that I could turn on for a song or two and entertain friends with their campy ego-driven rockitude.

So on the fateful day that the D released their self-titled full length album, I was there.  I battled no crowds for the pleasure to listen to Jack Black and Kyle Gass, but the hour drive to the closest mall was much more enjoyable on that fateful ride home.

Throughout my last year in high school, that album remained in constant rotation, and now occasionally winds back up there. 

Needless to say, there were expectations to be met this Thanksgiving when my family went to the theatre to see Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny.

What we got wasn`t exactly bad, but it wasn`t all that good either. 

The semi-musical qualities of the movie made even the most otherwise tepid scenes seem fun, with Meatloaf adding a worthy appearance in JB`s (Black`s) history as his father.  Little JB, played by Troy Gentile, definitely did the part justice, and the story was set in motion with his escape to Hollywood to pursue his dreams as a rock star.

Skip ahead to adulthood, and we get the standard Tenacious D, minus the novelty. 

JB meets KG on the streets and over the course of 10 minutes, JB`s will is tested by KG to see if he is worthy of joining his one man band.  After realizing the birthmarks on their respective buttocks form the name Tenacious D, the pair take to the open mic.

When the pair uncover the truth behind all of the most serious rock`n`rollers amounts to using one of Satan`s teeth for a guitar pick, they realize their destiny. 

For those familiar, the rest writes itself.

Bit roles by Tim Robbins, Ben Stiller, and Amy Poehler can`t save this skit-gone-long from replaying the same humor it has relied on for about ten years to get the job done.

When the movie ended, I wasn`t really left wanting more.  I wanted less.  I wanted the D that I know best: more songs, and less filler.  If Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny were more musical---and original---than it turned out, I could forgive its plot. 

But the songs were largely unmemorable, and the action mundane.

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny is a movie that should have been released several years ago, before the target audience got a taste for Black`s characters in High Fidelity and School of Rock.  The D deserves praise for their venture onto the big screen, but the approach should have been better, considering how much time they have had to develop it.