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Published:October 15th, 2008 13:00 EST
Dumping Madonna:  Ritchie One Lucky Guy!

Dumping Madonna: Ritchie One Lucky Guy!

By John Lillpop

Satire, Courtesy of John W. Lillpop

Eight minutes of living with former pop star Madonna would provide enough pain and misery to drive most rational men to drink and or drugs.

Imagine being married to the aging bag of hard porn for eight years!

That particular form of "cruel and unusual punishment" is about to end for Guy Ritchie who is reportedly set to divorce the 40+ relic of entertainment long since out of vogue in America as well as in most nations with electricity and indoor plumbing.

Guy is indeed the lucky guy!

While Ritchie goes about the business of cleaning out trash from a generation ago, Madonna continues to pretend that she is relevant in the modern world with her sickly "Sticky and Sweet" world tour, reportedly a smash hit in assisted suicide centers for the elderly all across Europe.

A tip to Guy Ritchie: Make sure your settlement with Madonna includes 50 percent of her social security benefits. After eight years of being manacled to the beach you deserve every benefit coming to you.

To Madonna: You need to know that Governor Palin has no desire whatsoever to see one of your vulgar shows! Take that!