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Published:March 29th, 2009 09:26 EST
ShamWow Dude Beats The Hell Out Of Hooker

ShamWow Dude Beats The Hell Out Of Hooker

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Meet Vince Shlomi. He`s probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a pr*stitute in his South Beach hotel room." The Smoking Gun
Vince the ShamWow Dude is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Why is a guy who looks like a constipated carny such an effective shill? Is the ShamWow towel a product of such dubious merit that only a con artist spokesperson can do it justice?

Why does Vince wear headphones in his commercials? Is it a silly affectation or is there a nefarious reason why he dons the headphones?

Why did the ShamWow pitchman pay a pr*stitute for sex when there are legions of ShamWow groupies (male and female) who would pay him to do the nasty?

Vince looks like week-old roadkill, but he`s actually a writer, director, comedian and owner of the products that he hawks.

The ShamWow dude punched the pro*titute several times on her face, maybe his next product can be a healing balm for pro*titutes who get knocked around by their pimps or customers.

Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating