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Published:April 28th, 2009 12:53 EST
Paris Hilton Rolling Out Her Ninth Perfume

Paris Hilton Rolling Out Her Ninth Perfume

By Robert Paul Reyes


"Paris Hilton is preparing to roll out her ninth perfume next month, and her `fragrance empire` rakes in an estimated $200 million a year. And if you`re thinking that having nine different perfumes on the market might mean she`s totally saturated the market, well, think again. She just signed a new five-year contract with the fragrance giant Parlux, and should have a total of 13 perfumes on the market by 2014. Unless Mother Nature intervenes and we all get swine flu and all die, of course."

Paris Hilton has failed spectacularly as an actress and singer, and she`s enjoyed only middling success as a reality TV star. But the pop diva has enjoyed unbelievable success selling her name and image -- any product bearing her name will sell extremely well.

I can understand if a person of good character, talent and accomplishment is successful as a commercial spokesperson. But why on Earth would anyone want to buy merchandize bearing the name of a blithering idiot who doesn`t possess any of these traits?

Paris Hilton is the most insubstantial celebrity in the history of Western Civilization, to capture her true essence a bottle of her perfume should be filled with nothing but air.

A word to the wise: Dudes, if discover that your girlfriend sprays on any of Paris Hilton`s perfumes, Dump her!