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Published:July 25th, 2009 16:49 EST

Madonna's Erotic Phone Messages To Be Auctioned

By Robert Paul Reyes


"Madonna`s latest release will cost a little more than usual and will be available in only one, curiously archaic format: microcassette.

`Madonna Erotic Phone Messages` will be among several lots of Material Girl-related arcana up for grabs next week in the Rock & Roll Pop Art Auction. Minimum bid: $25,000 (U.S.). That works out to about $1,470 a minute.

Contained on `two original microcassettes from Jim Albright`s answering machine,` the 17 minutes of messages date from 1992-1993, when Madonna was dating Albright, who was her bodyguard before becoming romantically involved with the singer." John Sakamoto /Toronto Star

I respect Madonna as a singer and performer, and I even have one of her albums in a cassette format. But I won`t be bidding for a microcassette from an answering machine featuring "sweet nothings" from the Material Girl.

Madonna has released a few sexually explicit albums, videos and even a book depicting her naked with various people and even a dog. Her book "Sex" and her album "Erotica" are so sexually graphic, that in comparison her answering machine tapes are G-rated. If it`s the raunchy Madonna that turns you on, why shell out $25,000 for the microcassette when you can buy her Sex book for a few bucks at Amazon.Com?

If you think that the 900 numbers are a rip-off at $2.99 per minute, the Madonna tape works out to about $1,470 a minute. Are 900 sex numbers as obsolete as microcassettes?

When I imagine Madonna talking dirty to an answering machine, it`s the wrinkled old hag that comes to mind, not the sexy Material Girl of the 80`s. Dang, I wouldn`t bid a dollar for her tape.