How to Smoothly Invite Your Unassuming Partner into Sex

Sexual Knowledge

Are you worried about how often you have sex with your partner?

When your partner and you differ in the frequency of sex you wish to have, it can lead to unexpected problems.

In this article, I’ll explain why indifferent partners can’t get on board with sex, and explain “the reasons why they are not willing” by gender, and show you how to solve the problem.

In this article, we’ll explain why indifferent partners can’t be positive about sex by gender, and we’ll show you how to solve the problem.

・You want to have sex, but your partner isn’t responding to you.
・My partner has become less and less interested in sex lately, and I want to know why.
・I want to know how to get my partner to have sex with me smoothly.

If you have these problems, please read this article to the end.

Reasons why men are not positive about sex

First, let’s take a look at the reasons why men are not positive about sex.

The following reasons are likely to be the reasons why men are not positive and inclined to have sex with each other.

The reasons are likely to include the following:

  • Busy or tired.
  • Under a lot of stress.
  • Not much of a sex drive to begin with.
  • Tired of sex.
  • The woman’s appearance has changed and he is no longer aroused.

Let’s take a closer look at the reasons for each one!

Busy and tired

One of the most common reasons why men are not positive about sex is that they are busy and tired, especially when it comes to sex.

Many men who are active in today’s society are busy as businessmen, and they put all their heart and soul into their work.

So they don’t have enough energy left over to have sex with each other, so they can’t be positive about sex even if they want to.

Stressed out

When men get stressed out, they want to have sex anyway!

Many people seem to be able to do this.

But on the other hand, stress can cause erectile dysfunction and make it difficult to be positive about sex.

This pattern is called ‘Why can’t I have sex?’

And if you drive it down, it may lead to long-term erectile dysfunction, not just transient, so be careful.

Not much sex drive to begin with

Sexual desire varies from person to person, so some people are not very lustful to begin with.

In addition, nowadays, the internet has made it easy to pursue hobbies such as games, comics, cartoons, and dramas.

Then there are too many other things to enjoy doing besides sex, and they don’t have the time or energy to devote to sex.

Tired of sex

If you’ve been with your partner for a long period of time, you often become bored with the relationship and don’t want to get into sex.

It’s inevitable because humans are creatures that get bored, especially men, who instinctively reproduce with many women and are not built to stay aroused by the same person for long periods of time.

Saying you’re bored of it must be extremely distressing to women. However, this can’t be helped, so women need to find ways to prevent boredom.

I will explain about how to avoid getting bored later.

The woman’s appearance has changed and he can no longer be excited

Women often experience significant changes in their body shape as they age and give birth.

This is true for men as well, especially when there is childbirth, their pelvises open up wider and their fat content changes more than before.

Therefore, when a woman’s appearance changes, men may not be able to get aroused.

Why women are not positive about sex

Next, let’s look at the reasons why women are not positive about sex.

The following are some of the reasons why women are not positive about sex:

  • Hormonal influences.
  • Having trouble with my partner
  • Not confident about their body.
  • Partner have changed in appearance.
  • In love with someone else.

Let’s take a closer look at the reasons for each.

Hormonal effects

Women may lose a significant amount of sex drive due to hormones.

Another period of time, such as right after childbirth, is when it is difficult to be positive about sex.

After giving birth, they instinctively try to protect their children from all foreign enemies.

This is why they become aggressive towards their male partners as well.

If you are still recovering from postpartum wounds and strength, even more so if you are still recovering from the postpartum period, you are truly like a bear on your hands.

It’s no wonder that it’s hard to be positive about sex during this period.

Having trouble with your partner

If you have a bad relationship with your male partner, it can be difficult to be positive about sex.

Sex = the act of having a child.

If you don’t instinctively feel like ‘I’d be willing to have a child with this man,’ it’s hard to get into it.

If you are in a situation where your partner is violent and you can’t feel safe raising a child after giving birth, or if your partner is uncooperative and you have heavy household burden, you subconsciously shy away from sex even if you weren’t thinking about having a baby.

Interestingly, one study found that men who did a lot of housework seemed to be more attractive than men who did no housework at all.

Not confident about body

If a woman is not confident in her body because she has gained weight, has rough skin, etc., she will not be able to be positive about sex.

You always want to look good in front of your loving partner.

However, your appearance can change due to hormonal influences, stress from environmental changes, aging, and other factors.

This is true for men as well as women.

And let’s say a man mentions to you that his appearance has changed.

You may not be able to take your clothes off in front of him anymore.

A casual comment can be a traumatic experience for you.

Partner’s appearance has changed

When a man’s appearance changes, it makes it impossible for a woman to be sexually attracted to a man.

It is common for both men and women to change their appearance over time.

It takes a lot of effort to keep them in excellent proportions forever, but it is very common for them to become less sexually attractive because of a change in their appearance.

In love with someone else

For women, changes in feelings can cause them to no longer want to have sex with their male partners.

Men can have sex with other women even if they have relatively good feelings for other women,

but it’s also common for women to not be able to have sex with a man they don’t like at all.

How to smooth out a partner who is uncomfortable with sex

So now, let’s take a look at some ways to make it easier for your sexually uncomfortable partner to ask you out.

There are four ways to do this.

  • Go on a trip.
  • Try using perfumes and aromatic oils.
  • Take care about the way you look.
  • Have compassion for others.

It is often introduced as a way of seducing someone by wearing sexy lingerie, but this kind of pressure is counterproductive for someone who is unwilling to have sex with you.

This is especially true if the reason for not being positive about sex is a psychological factor.

So, here are some ways to fundamentally improve your relationship with your partner.

It’s not just about sex, but it’s also possible to change your existing relationship for the better, so please give it a try.

Go on a trip

Going on a trip and putting yourself in a different environment is a very quick way to get you to have sex smoothly.

There is something refreshing about being exposed to a different bed, scenery, and food.

When this happens, inviting someone to have sex can make things go more smoothly.

It’s world-renowned that regular travel is an effective way to keep couples from getting into a rut.

Be careful not to get too tired at this time, as it will have the opposite effect.

It is recommended to avoid activities that are too tiring and plan for a relaxing, restful and enjoyable experience.

Try using perfumes and aromatic oils

With their powerful, aromatic properties that immediately affect the limbic brain, connecting into your pleasure centers so that you’re able to relax and be open to sexual pleasure, essential oils are an ideal solution for libido issues. By stimulating the pituitary, the master gland for hormone production, they also help ensure that the hormones you need for a proper sex drive are triggered.

Essential Oils to Boost Your Libido: 2 Recipes to Ignite Desire

You can also use perfumes and aromatic oils to work on your sense of smell.

The human sense of smell is the only one of the five senses that can directly stimulate the brain.

Therefore, it is easy to work on your instincts and trigger your sexual impulses.

There are 3 fragrances that can work on the sex drive as follows.

  • Ylang-ylang
  • Sandalwood
  • Neroli

Ylang-ylang is a sweet floral scent that invites you to relax.

It is a very effective scent to use when inviting someone to have sex with you, as it relieves tension and anxiety while also increasing your elation.

In Indonesia, ylang-ylang petals were used to lay down on the bed for the newlyweds to sleep on their wedding night.

Secondly, sandalwood is also an effective scent for inviting sex.

In addition to its ability to calm the mind and regulate the circulation of the body, sandalwood also has an aphrodisiac effect and therefore attracts the opposite sex.

Sandalwood is a tropical evergreen tree native to India and is sometimes used to make tea and incense.

Sandalwood is an endangered species and its price has been rising in recent years.

Finally, there is the neroli.

Neroli is an essential oil extracted from the flowers of the bitter orange tree, and it has a refreshing floral scent with a slightly citrusy bitterness that can be enjoyed.

Also known as a natural tranquilizer, Neroli’s excellent relaxing properties bring stability to the mind.

It is also effective as an aphrodisiac, so it is a perfect bedtime scent.

You can burn the above scents with a perfume or aroma and bring it with you to make you casually aware of it.

It is recommended to use the scent only slightly, as people like and dislike it.

Take care of your appearance

It is very important to pay attention to how you look in order to ask for smooth sex.

Earlier, ‘I’ve changed my look’ was mentioned as a common reason for men and women not being positive about sex.

Appearance is very important because it works directly from the visual to the sexual impulse.

It’s important to be willing to make an effort to maintain proportions and take care of your skin, even if the effort doesn’t actually come to fruition.

‘I’m bored’ was cited as a reason why men are not positive about sex with women.

This is also due to appearance.

Men have a hunting instinct and instinctively believe that once the prey (woman) is in their hands, it is theirs to keep.

But by changing their image from time to time and showing them a different woman, they discover a new side of themselves again and say, ‘I thought I had it! And it’s a way to spark the hunting instincts again.

It’s a way to get them to chase you.

Taking care of your appearance isn’t necessarily just a keeper.

Both men and women need to incorporate a good image change and make an effort to stay looking great.

Be considerate to your partner

Finally, the most important thing is compassion for your partner.

I have just given you a variety of reasons why both men and women may not be positive about sex.

Some of them may be related to psychological factors and may not be resolved immediately.

If you try to ask your partner out for sex without considering these reasons, it may not only not work, but it may put pressure on him/her and make him/her more resistant to sex.

If you prioritize your partner’s situation, what he or she wants, and how you can make him or her happy, you will have a better idea of what to do.

If you continue to prioritize the other person, they will look at you differently.

It is impossible to try to change the other person, so the most important thing is to be willing to change yourself.

Inconsistent sex frequency can affect your relationship with your partner

I mentioned earlier that the frequency of sex can be a reason for couples to divorce.

Sexual desire is one of the three major human needs, and it is indispensable.

Therefore, failure to satisfy some of those three major needs can lead to great frustration.

In some common cases, this can lead to problems such as not being able to be kind to a partner who is not willing to have sex with you, or seeing all the things you don’t like about him/her.

When these problems occur, the relationship with your partner will gradually deteriorate.

We don’t know if you are the one who doesn’t want to have sex or the one who wants to have sex.

However, we need to consider our partner’s feelings, and we need to be creative in coming to terms with each other if we are to realize a good long-term relationship.

Next, let’s take a look at the reasons why men and women are not positive about sex.


If you can’t have sex with your partner as often as you want it to be, you will be stressed and your self-esteem will not be satisfied.

However, you can improve this by understanding the situation your partner is in and taking steps accordingly.

Try to be considerate of your partner’s situation and ask them out.