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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Baby Groot is the Messiah the Galaxy Needs in the Age of Donald Trump - I am obsessed with Baby Groot, and that's not a bad thing. I love Baby Groot waving goodbye. I love Baby Groot dancing. I love Baby Groot having a tantrum! I love Baby Groot. America Loves Baby Groot. The World Loves Baby Groot. The Galaxy loves Baby Groot.

A Therapy Dog in a Dental Office Is a Wonderful Idea - Going to the dentist is something many people dread, but one Wichita dental office is trying to make the experience a little easier on patients.

Why Do Cats Knead? - I have two cats, and they both knead on the carpet, rugs, sofas, and on my belly and chest when I'm sleeping on the sofa.

Outrage! Green Party Teaching Women How to Urinate Standing Up! - Teaching women how to urinate standing up is a biological absurdity, and an affront to the Almighty! What in the name of God is next? Will they hold a special meeting to teach women how to adjust their crotch in public just like the dudes?

Rose Garden Photo of Trump and White Congressmen Gloating Will Come Back to Bite Them - When the mid-term elections roll around, I hope that every person of color who voted for Trump will take a good look at this photograph of these politicians with shit-eating grins on their fat faces.

Caitlyn Jenner Bio a Bust! 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Ratings Tanking! There's Hope for America! - "Is our long national nightmare over? The saga of the hideous Kardashian-Jenners is losing steam at last. People may finally be wearying of people who are famous for no reason.

Obama Lookalike Teacher Fired For Putting Legs Behind Her Head! - There should be no double standard, whenever a female teacher behaves sexually inappropriate with a student she should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Evil Ronald McDonald Statue Stolen From McDonald's Restaurant - It doesn't get any more evil than a life-size statue of a clown sitting on a bench outside of a McDonald's restaurant, the civic-minded citizen who stole the abomination should be awarded a key to the city.

Stephen Colbert's Execrable Anti-Trump Monologue Inspires #firecolbert Hashtag - Stephen Colbert resurrected the ratings of his show by becoming the resister-in-chief, every night he piles on Donald Trump. The president deserves to be criticized and ridiculed, he's an embarrassment to our democracy.

Donald Trump and Andrew Jackson: Evil Twins From the Pit of Hell - Donald Trump is destined to go down in history as the worst president, after only three months in office his administration is in chaos, Congress is deadlocked (not so much between the Democrats and the Republicans, but between the moderate Republicans and the far-right Republicans), and the nation is bitterly divided.

Donald Trump Should Attempt Pussy Diplomacy With Putin - Although Russia and the West have differences, one thing that unites the two is a feline obsession.

Roy Moore: God Put Donald Trump in the White House! Bullcrap! - I have friends and family members who are evangelicals, and they are diehard supporters of President Donald Trump -- the same Donald Trump who embodies the secular values and human vices that are antithetical to fundamentalist Christianity.

The Morrissey Cult in the Chicano Community is a Beautiful and Spiritual Thing - I was delighted when I discovered a couple of years ago that Morrissey has a fanatical following in the Chicano community.

Donald Trump Has a Big Red Button in the Oval Office That He Uses To ... - Can you imagine if Hillary had won, she would have installed a red button that would have summoned a doctor with medication for any of her myriad life-threatening illnesses.

Woman Arrested For Xylophone Rage Attack - Although Encarnacion should be commended for her restraint, I would have boiled the pot of cooking grease before dumping it on the moron playing the musical instrument.

Trending on Twitter: Donald Trump is Unintelligible - Many have taken to Twitter today to say 'Donald Trump is unintelligible' - why?

Who's Gonna Pay for Donald Trump's Wall? El Chapo? - It appears that even Trump realizes that neither Mexico or American taxpayers will pay for the wall, he caved in his demand for a measly $1 billion for the wall in the 2017 Continuing Resolution.

Outrage: Centenarian Awarded Gold Medal for Running 100-Meter Sprint in 1 Minute 40 Seconds - Enough with this politically-correct tomfoolery in pretending that folks who are older than dirt can still participate in athletic events.

Starbucks' Unicorn Frappuccino Sign of the End Times - I love coffee, and I get my daily fix at a Waffle House, and it's served by a waitress, not a freaking barista. Any millennial who works as a barista should be drowned in a vat of Unicorn Frappuccino.

Why Do Cats Love Boxes? - Boxes and cats, whats the deal?

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