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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Great News! Robots Will be Flipping Burgers at CaliBurger Restaurants by 2018! - A burger-flipping robot called Flippy will be at work in CaliBurger restaurants by early 2018.

Mexican Mayor Marries Magnificent Crocodile - The mayor of a Mexican town married a crocodile as part of a centuries-old tradition to bring an abundant harvest to the fishing town.

Adele Has Shamed the UK and Show Biz! May God Have Mercy on Her! - Adele you have shamed the United Kingdom and the show business profession, may the Almighty have mercy on your soul.

Make a Bucket List for Your Pooch - Shower your pooch with love.

Corey Lewandowski Calls Donald Trump 'The Hemingway of Twitter' - Hemingway committed suicide, lets hope and pray that Trump will kill himself, so that at least in the manner of death he will resemble the great writer.

Even Fox News is Turning Against Donald Trump - President Donald Trumps tweets got tough coverage at Fox News Channel, a usually friendly media outlet.

Female GOP Lawmakers Need to Have 'Come to Jesus Meeting' With Donald Trump - Enough is enough!

Arkansas Ten Commandments Monument Destroyed Hours After Installation - A newly installed Ten Commandments monument on Arkansas state Capitol grounds was toppled on Wednesday by a man police said drove his vehicle into the granite slab and posted the incident on Facebook.

Eric Trump's New Nazi Haircut - This week in political style news, Eric Trump got a haircut. It's bad.

Majority of Americans Would Give Up Alcohol to See Donald Trump Impeached - I would give up all of my vices, which shall remain unnamed, for the rest of my life if the House drafts articles of impeachment.

Outrage! AirAsia Pilot Calls on Passengers to Pray Amid Engine Trouble - When an airplane suffers a severe engine problem and cabin is shaking like a washing machine it's perfectly understandable if all the passengers pray, and beg the Almighty for deliverance. If the plane was rocking and rolling I'd be rolling down the aisle and praying like a holy roller on crack.

Jennifer Lopez' Photoshopped Ab Selfie Sparks Outrage! Shame on the Trifling Celeb! - Anyone, especially a celebrity, who posts a selfie online, is inviting comments, positive and negative.

Moral Outrage! Donald Trump Drives Golf Cart on Green! Video! - A golfer desecrating a golf course by driving a cart on the green is equivalent to a baseball player pulling down his pants and underwear and adjusting his crotch in the middle of a game.

Creator of Pink Flamingo Dies at 79 - Today I pay tribute to the creator of the pink flamingo, Donald Featherstone. Your heavenly creation has enhanced the value of my house, and lifted the spirits of all those who walk by my home. When I die and go to heaven, I'm convinced that my heavenly home will be decorated with pink flamingos.

Cocky Criminals Caught Trying to Carry Off Cops' Cocks - A couple of bird brains broke into barn housing chickens confiscated in a massive raid on upstate cockfighting ring this week and tried to bust the roosters out of the joint - only to find themselves behind bars.

Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren and Nancy Pelosi Will be the Death of the Democratic Party - Hillary go away, for God's sake, disappear.

Shock Jock Resigns After Being Asked Not to Criticize Donald Trump - Bruce Bond has quit his position at WTPA.

Is Sean Spicer About to be Fired? - It's not really the White House Press Secretary who needs to resign, it's the buffoon who makes his job a living hell.

For God's Sake Bill Clinton Embrace Your Black Son, Danney Williams - Danney Williams is tenaciously pursuing a relationship with the man he claims is his father.

Gay Teacher Flashes Gay Attitude in Oval Office! Donald Trump Unfazed by His Gay Spirit! - Kudos to Giannopoulos for flying his freak flag high in the Oval Office, you need a little bit of color to counterbalance the Orange Menace.

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