At first glance Bishop Eddie Long is a transparent con artist living large at the expense of his congregation. But don`t let the ridiculous wig, the muscle shirts and the twinkle in Long`s eye fool you -- he`s a genuine Man of God.
The first time I laid eyes on Long`s Jheri Curl wig, I was reminded of Lenny Bruce`s famous maxim: There`s nothing sadder than an ageing hipster. How tragic I thought, here`s a 57-year-old man desperately trying to look cool by donning a hairstyle that was popular decades ago.
On second reflection I considered that maybe the minister`s toupee was an ironic statement about the chaotic state of the world. But Long doesn`t have the intellectual gravitas or the artistic sensibilities to conceive of such a grand statement.
Then I had an epiphany and the truth was revealed to me. Bishop Long knows that he looks absolutely ridiculous with that hairpiece, but it`s his way of imitating Jesus Christ. Scripture tells us that the Messiah was despised and rejected of men ", the reverend wants to suffer persecution and derision just like his Master.
The megachurch pastor admitted that he encouraged people in the church to call him Daddy ", as a sign of respect. Critics point out that the only people that Long encouraged to call him daddy were handsome young boys. Oh was a cynical age we live in, the minister has a special anointing from God to mentor young boys. The compassionate pastor takes his calling seriously and lavishes cars, jewelry and clothes on the young lads.
The muscle-bound preacher admitted that he hugs church members, and that he shares rooms with other men, but not for sexual reasons.
Let`s cut the flashy televangelist some slack, he`s just a friendly guy who enjoys hugging good looking young boys. Long lives in a palatial mansion, and he shares hotel rooms with young hunks as a way of identifying with poor folks who live little houses, and sleep two to a bedroom.
Others may snicker at the statement that Long doesn`t have sex with the boys in the hotel room, but the Lord has removed the demon of unbelief from my heart, and I`m persuaded that the most risquÃ© thing that the Bishop does in the hotel rooms with the boys is play Twister.
May the Lord forgive me for writing over 30 articles criticizing Bishop Eddie Long. I have seen the light, Long isn`t a homophobic, hypocritical child molester, he`s a visionary Man of God.
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