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Published:February 18th, 2011 10:52 EST

Levi's Ex-Girlfriend Tight Jeans For Men: Simply An Abomination

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Remember the girlfriend with the great style? Here`s a tribute to her -- a fit that`s super-snug allover, an update of the five-pocket classic that`s as skinny as it gets. Made with plenty of stretch."

Levi`s advertising copy for Ex-Girlfriend jeans

Tight jeans are a great idea for women, and for men who enjoy looking at them. But tight jeans for men is the worst idea since any fashion item invented in the 1970`s.

If a dude wears tight jeans as a tribute to his ex-girlfriend, he will look like a dork, and there`s a good chance he may never again have a girlfriend. If his ex-girlfriend sees him wearing skin-tight jeans, she will thank her lucky stars she kicked the freak to the curb.

If a guy with a small package wears Levi`s Ex-Girlfriend jeans -- good luck getting a girlfriend.

Levi`s jeans are iconic, my uniform growing up was a pair of Levi`s 501 jeans, a white T-Shirt, and Converse All Star tennis shoes. We called sneakers tennis shoes back in the Dark Ages.

Ex-Girlfriend jeans are a signs of the End Times, and Levi`s is in dire danger of tarnishing their sterling brand. Levi`s 501 jeans belong in the Smithsonian museum, Levi`s Ex-Girlfriend jeans belong in the trash.

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