May 18th, 2011 09:25 EST
Arnold`s Love Child
In light of the shocking revelations of Arnold Schwarzenegger`s admission about having a love child, noted clinical psychologist Dr. Judy Kuriansky, author of The Complete Idiots Guide to a Healthy Relationship " explains the implications of this news. Dr. Judy has given advice to thousands of women and men on the radio for decades, and has this analysis of such men and advice to women:
Recent Presidential candidates -- John Edwards " and even former Presidents " Thomas Jefferson " have done it. So have Hollywood stars -- Mel Gibson. Now, former muscle-man turned politico-California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger joins the dubious list of married men who have had a love child.
What makes them do it? They can. Narcissicism. Power. Over-sexualization. A sense of entitlement. Women throwing themselves at them. A thrill personality style. Add a dash of arrogance " how dare they do that under the nose of their wife and children, and think the public will never find out.
Arnold can be smug that he pulled off a cover-up of the existence of this love child for 10 years and got away with two terms in political office keeping the scandal under wraps. John Edwards wasn`t so lucky; he got found out right away and blown out of the top-office race.
All of us " besides his wife Maria " have been fooled. We didn`t know.
The fiasco proves:
1) Men will be unfaithful regardless of whether they have an `el primo` wife who has it all " beauty, smarts, even pedigree, like Maria Shriver from the Kennedy dynasty. Men have affairs for multiple reasons, including their own needs, having nothing to do with whether they are happily married or sexually satisfied. For one, their ego may demand exorbitant attention (psychologically I note the consistency with a reference in Arnold`s statement that, I deserve your `attention` `[not my family]`.
2) Women will dig their nails into any man, with no shame, or respect for other women or for their own husband (Arnold paramour was apparently also married).
In my many years on the radio giving advice, I pleaded with women to be honorable to other women, and not steal another woman`s man. Be a sistah! But sadly, many do not heed that; too many women will go for any man for their own selfish needs. I beg again, women of all ages, watch out for your sisters. Remember the Golden Rule- do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or think of karma "bad energy comes back to haunt you in the end in some form.
I predict women will throw themselves at Arnold now. They`ll think, "look at her (the mother of Arnold`s love child) " she got a kid and now she`s set for life.` It tings of anthropology, that women are out to protect their children " and what better way than to snare a daddy who will support them for the rest of their life.
Sadly, some men get away with it, and even prosper. I predict that Arnold will sell more copies of the memoir he`s supposedly preparing, get thousands of dollars for speeches and appearances, and score big roles in Hollywood. People will want to see the man who could have such cahounas. Too bad our culture is built on rewards to celebrities for bad behavior.
In such an extramarital sexual act, one can ask, Where was Arnold`s head when he should have been thinking of contraception? Not using protection shows really bad judgment, and impulsivity, with a little head overruling a bigger one. Not a reliable quality in a person- or a leader.
On Channel 11 News this morning, the anchor said Arnold needed to have read my book The Complete Idiots Guide to A Healthy Relationship. In it, he would have learned how to honor Maria.
Arnold`s behavior is a grave insult " and the ultimate betrayal -- to Maria, especially having this affair so close to home, under her nose, and secret for so long. It will take a long time for her to rebuild trust. She certainly needs the support and love that she has expressed appreciation for on her web postings.
Maria denied on an Oprah show that she was bred to stand by your man. Certainly after this compounded betrayal -- especially as she stands for the empowerment of women in her annual women`s conference -- she has to set an example for all women, and for herself, about how a woman has to respect herself, have high self-esteem, ytust her independence, and not put up with bad behavior.
Dr. Judy Kuriansky, http://www.drjudy.com/
Judyth Piazza chats with Dr. Judy Kuriansky, Author and Host of ...