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Published:December 15th, 2011 10:47 EST
santa

Secret Santa Hands Out $100 Bills In Thrift Store

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Secret Santa has been handing out holiday cheer in the form of $100 bills in Missouri and Kansas with the help of some city officials, those officials said."

UPI

I must have been born under a bad sign, the only Santas I ever meet are the kind that reek of alcohol and hand out freakin` candy canes. I need another candy cane, like I need another cavity.

santa

The Secret Santa has bee handing out $100 bills in thrift stores and other locations for five years. The Secret Santa needs to get with the program and hand out loot to gentlemen in strip joints, lap dances are expensive!

The Secret Santa was joined by the mayor when he passed out bills in a thrift store. The mayor was along for the ride, and I hope that the voters don`t give him any credit. The voters should elect the Secret Santa as mayor, he has more integrity in his fake white beard than the mayor has in his entire body.

Merry Christmas to all my readers, and to folks who hang out in strip joints and thrift stores.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes