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Published:December 26th, 2011 17:26 EST

The Case Of The Stolen Christmas Inflatable Penguin

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A family in the Chicago suburbs said they returned home on Christmas to find someone had stolen their 6-foot inflatable penguin."




This curious tale brings up a lot of questions:


*What does a 6-foot inflatable penguin have to do with the Christmas story? There may have been sheep in the manger where Christ was born, but I`d bet my last candy cane there weren`t any penguins.


*What kind of an idiot would risk serving a couple of days in jail over an inflatable penguin?


*How could the homeowner, Kim Mattern, be so self-centered and clueless to report the theft of a $50 inflatable penguin? The cops have better things to do than to waste their time responding to a call about a stolen inflatable toy.


*Why did this trivial incident make the news? There must be hundreds of more pressing matters in Montgomery, Illinois.


If my readers are wondering why I`m writing about this non-event, it`s because oddball news items often reveal the pettiness of the human experience, and the meaningless of life.