December 26th, 2011 18:26 EST
The Case Of The Stolen Christmas Inflatable Penguin
"A family in the Chicago suburbs said they returned home on Christmas to find someone had stolen their 6-foot inflatable penguin."
This curious tale brings up a lot of questions:
*What does a 6-foot inflatable penguin have to do with the Christmas story? There may have been sheep in the manger where Christ was born, but I`d bet my last candy cane there weren`t any penguins.
*What kind of an idiot would risk serving a couple of days in jail over an inflatable penguin?
*How could the homeowner, Kim Mattern, be so self-centered and clueless to report the theft of a $50 inflatable penguin? The cops have better things to do than to waste their time responding to a call about a stolen inflatable toy.
*Why did this trivial incident make the news? There must be hundreds of more pressing matters in Montgomery, Illinois.
If my readers are wondering why I`m writing about this non-event, it`s because oddball news items often reveal the pettiness of the human experience, and the meaningless of life.