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Published:May 5th, 2012 11:59 EST

OMG! Snooki & Tanning Mom Engaged In Epic Battle Of Words! Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid!

By Robert Paul Reyes

If you haven`t been living in a cave the last week you`ve seen video or photographs of Patricia Krenticil (Tanning Mom) who was arrested by New Jersey cops for taking her five-year-old daughter tanning. Indeed if you`ve seen pics of Tanning Mom you are psychologically scarred for life, and you have probably moved into a cave to avoid the sun. Suffice to say that Tanning Mom looks like she`s been in a giant rotisserie for a couple of hours.


Of course tanning queen Snooki was asked to weigh in on the controversy, and she responded as only Snooki can: That (rhymes with witch) is crazy. As a writer whose trademark is brevity, I admire Snooki for her minimalist answer.

When we turn to Snooki as the arbiter of right and wrong, we know that we are living in the last days.

When Tanning Mom got wind of Snooki`s comment, she called Snooki "the biggest a-hole in the world." Tanning Mom must spend all her time in a tanning studio, and have no time to watch TV, because she called Snooki "Snoopy."

I`m sure Snoopy would rather be in a life and death battle with the Red Baron than be called Snooki by a woman who looks like Satan`s illegitimate daughter. Too much time in the tanning booth must have fried Tanning Mom`s brains, nobody else would confuse the most lovable pooch in the world with the most despised reality star on TV.

There`s only one way to settle this beef: An MTV claymation death match between Tanning Mom and Snooki.

If you have a strong stomach click this link to see the thing known as Tanning Mom:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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