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Published:May 28th, 2012 13:14 EST
The College Graduate

The College Graduate

By David J. Knee

So you just graduated?  You are probably wishing these four years of your life weren`t coming to an end.  Okay, for some of you it`s probably more like 6 years of college, but that is totally acceptable.  We all learn and grow at different rates.  It`s probably the smart choice to stay in college as long as you can.  Think of all the perks, freshman women,  awesomely bad college food, partying and basically having limited responsibilities.   Did I mention sleeping in as much as possible? 

Graduating college can be an extremely frightening notion.  College does a great job of preparing you for a variety of different things, but are you ready for the real world?  Let`s hope so.  If you are graduating this year there are four approaches you can take to after college life, the lazy approach, the internship, the I got a job or the I am looking for a job.  You are fortunate enough to have each of these possible postgraduate situations broken down in depth so you can figure out which one you fall under.

The Lazy Approach

 So you just graduated college.  For this person not much is going to change.  You probably feel that you deserve a break after spending 4 years learning.  You have decided that the summer is yours and you will start looking for a job in September.

 You have moved back home and probably sleep in to about 12-2p.m.  You have become the ultimate coach potato.  You thought the freshman 15 were bad; try the I just moved back home 20.  In addition to this your drinking has probably stayed the same or gotten worse.  It`s the summer you`re taking off.  You might want to consider AA.  Just saying.  This person has to be careful that this doesn`t lead to a lifetime of sitting around doing nothing and drinking. 

The current job market is not the strongest, so why not enjoy the summer?  The only disadvantage is you have given your co-graduates a head start on their lives.  If you`re taking the lazy approach you probably don`t care though.

 The Internship

This individual is self-motivated.  They understand the job market is not the strongest and are hoping to take this internship and make it a career.  The only problem is you were hoping by now you would have secured a full time job.  Internships don`t pay or they pay very little.  You probably had to move back home because of this.  It can be tough trying to excel at an internship while living back at home.  There might be a variety of different pressures on this individual. 

The graduates who get stuck in an internship probably continue to drink like they did in college.  They are not drinking because it`s an awesome thing to do.  They are drinking because they are hurting.  They really wish they had a full time job by now.  Just remember it gets better.

The I Got A Job

In a struggling job market this person is very lucky.  They might not have the job of their dreams, but at least they can afford to not have to move back home.  They also can afford to pay their bills.  In this generation people have at least 5 careers in a lifetime.  The I got a job person is certainly on the right path.  They don`t drink like they did in college, but happy hour has become their new best friend. 

 This person can brag to their friends that they got a job; even if it`s an entry-level job where they are getting abused.  This person probably does not have too much of a life outside of work.  People are very desperate and there is always the possibility that you will be fired or replaced.  It`s certainly a driving force.  As long as the I got a job person keeps cool this should all work out in the end. 

 The I am Looking For a Job

This graduate`s life probably sucks.  They wish they were the I got a job person.  Even worse they would do anything to have an internship.  This person is forced to move back home after college and start the job search.  They will probably start by sending their resume to a job search site.  After sending 500 resumes and wasting a month they might have gotten called into about 5 interviews.  The worst part is by going on these sites you will have endless amounts of people contacting you trying to hire you in a shitty job.  A shitty job is basically, you work for us and you only get commission.  Perhaps the job is selling credit card processing machines or maybe your doing telemarketing.  Either way it`s not why you went to college and although these companies might offer you great things, face it this job is going nowhere.  You have to be very careful with online job search companies.  Many times it turns into a black hole of nothingness. 

Your best bet would be to get a part time job while looking for work.  This way you maintain a schedule and don`t have to be at home rotting away.  Better yet, try finding a company you really want to work for.  Contact them and tell them you are offering your services free of charge for a month.  This is a bold approach and it might get you an internship with the potential for a full time job.

It`s hard to even make jokes about this person.  They want to do all the right things, but nothing seems to be working out.  This person probably drinks to numb the feeling of how shitty their life has become.  Hopefully they will get a job soon and won`t wake up two years later still looking for a job.  Worse yet, the lazy guy might have a job before you.  Keep your cool and try to explore a variety of different approaches to getting hired.  There are plenty of hiring agencies out there.  If you know what you`re doing on a job search site you can absolutely find a job.  It might not be the dream job but it will lead to something better.  The best piece of advice is this.  As much as people tell you that nepotism is a bad thing, its really not.  The easiest way to get a job is by knowing someone.  Reach out to people.  Network and make connections.  You will probably get a job faster doing this then any other approach.