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Published:July 19th, 2012 15:59 EST

Who In God's Name Is Stealing Cardboard Cutouts Of David Hasselhoff?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Actor David Hasselhoff said he got a good laugh from the repeated thefts of his iced coffee ads from Massachusetts-based Cumberland Farms stores."



Who, in God`s name, is stealing the cardboard likeness of the ageing thespian?

Lonely Women?

In his heyday in the 90`s Hasselhoff was a sex symbol, and many women watched Baywatch to get their weekly fix of the studly actor. But The Hoff is 60-freakin`g-years-old now, and I don`t think he turns that many women on anymore.

Campy Gays?
Homosexuals appreciate camp, and there`s nothing campier than having a cardboard likeness of The Hoff in your man cave.

Crazy Germans?

Hasselhoff was a big star in America, but he was god in the flesh in Germany. And I wouldn`t be surprised if German tourists stole the Hoff to take back to Germany with them.

Normal persons?

I don`t mean to imply that women, gays, and Germans aren`t normal. The average person can`t stand The Hoff, and I can see just about anyone stealing the cardboard Hoff to make a dartboard out of him.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org

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