Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:August 26th, 2012 09:00 EST

Nicole Polizzi (Snooki) Gives Birth To Baby Boy! The End of the World is Nigh!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Jersey Shore`s Nicole Polizzi gave birth to her first child this morning. Lorenzo Dominic LaValle was born just before 3 a.m. today (August 26th), with reports saying that he is healthy and was born weighting 6 pounds, 5 ounces."



Since Beebe Arkansas rang in the new year with multitudes of dead birds falling from the sky, students of Maya prophecy have been looking for signs that portend the End of the World on Dec 21, 2012.

Incidents of dead birds and dead fish all over the world, the increasing tension between Iran and Israel, the failing economies in Europe and America, all these things point to an impending Apocalypse.

But with the birth of Snooki`s baby we can all don our white robes, clutch our rosary beads and climb the nearest mountain to wait for the End of Times.

Nobody knows who Snooki`s baby daddy is, it could even be Satan himself.

Time is short, you need to start working on the items on your bucket list. I have less than four months to ridicule bimbo celebs, be prepared for an onslaught of articles poking fun at the likes of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, Mariah Carey, JWoww, and Lindsay Lohan.

Read More:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: