September 3rd, 2012 12:36 EST
Miracle: Snooki's Baby Has Survived For One Week!
"Lorenzo`s one week old!!!! Weeeee."
Snooki tweet celebrating that her baby has survived for one week.
You may think "Big Deal", but Lorenzo celebrating one week on this planet is a milestone considering who his mother is, and taking into account the morons she calls her friends.
It`s a miracle that the following things haven`t occurred in the first week of Lorenzo`s life:
The Situation dropping a dumbbell on Lorenzo, rendering his head as flat as a pancake.
JWoww passing out drunk on top of the wee baby, rendering him an unrecognizable blob.
Snooki tripping on her high heels and falling down on her butt right on Lorenzo`s soft head, rupturing it like a watermelon.
Snooki`s fiancé throwing Lorenzo in the dumpster, because he`s not really sure he is the baby daddy.
Honey Boo Boo Child sneaking into Snooki`s house and eating Lorenzo as a snack.
As you can see, it`s a miracle Lorenzo has survived for one week.
Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org
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