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Published:September 18th, 2012 16:19 EST
boo

Redneckognize Honey Boo Boo Child As A Superstar!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Alana Thompson may be only 7-years-old, and she may live in a tiny hick town that has more chickens than residents, but she`s a genuine superstar.

Alana has all the trappings of stardom:

BODYGUARD

honey

A huge bodyguard was seen escorting Alana and her mom, June Shannon, as they made the talk-show circuit rounds. It`s not unusual for a redneck child to have a different surname than her mother, that`s just how they roll in the South.

NICKNAME

Nicole Polizzi wouldn`t be half as famous as she is, if she wasn`t known as "Snooki``. Alana has an even catchier nickname than Snooki, she`s Honey Boo Boo Child.

HATERS

Google the name of any celebrity, be it Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie or Tom Cruise, and you will find thousands if not millions of derogatory comments written about them. Honey Boo Boo has her detractors as well, she`s been vilified by many, including myself, as a sign that we are living in the End Times.

PARODIED ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

You`re nobody until you`ve been satirized on SNL, the late night show kicked off the new season by poking fun at the precocious child.

THE SUBJECT OF A HOLLOWEEN COSTUME

Many hipsters are already planning on being Honey Boo Boo Child for Halloween, this promises to be the scariest Halloween in recent history.

CATCHPHRASE

Without his catchphrase "Whatcha talkin` `bout Willis?" Gary Coleman may never have achieved superstardom, Honey Boo Boo has several catchphrases including "I holla for da dolla" and "You`d betta redneckognize."

HUGE EGO

It`s not uncommon for Honey Boo Boo to refer to herself in the third person, she knows she`s a mega celebrity.


We`d be well-advised to redneckognize that Honey Boo Boo will be with for us for decades to come.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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