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Published:October 20th, 2012 16:44 EST

Honey Boo Boo's Mom: A Pearl Of Great Price

By Robert Paul Reyes

You can have Britney Spears and her mental breakdowns, Paris Hilton and her wardrobe malfunctions, and Angelina Jolie and her diva antics. Give me Honey Boo Boo`s mom, June Shannon, better known as Mama, and I will eternally treasure her like a pearl of great price.


Mama is the antithesis of the high-maintenance career woman, who has more time for her hobbies and social and intellectual pursuits, than she has for her husband and family.

Mama is as low-maintenance as they come, she would be perfectly happy if her man, Sugar Bear, brings her home ratty sweat pants or a muumuu from a dumpster. Although, Sugar Bear would be well-advised to buy her a fancy dress from K-Mart for special occasions.

Mama doesn`t do Jazzercise and she doesn`t belong to a book club, her life revolves around her four daughters and her significant other. As long as her children and her man`s bellies are full of sketti or roadkill she is in redneck heaven.

Mama has plenty of love to share with others, each one of her daughters has a different father. But my guess is that now she only has eyes for Sugar Bear.

Mama has more bounce to the ounce, more cushin for the pushin, she will keep you warm at night, and she will never ask you: Do these pants make my butt look fat?

Sugar Bear is the luckiest man in the world, the rest of us chumps can only dream of hooking up with a woman the caliber of Mama.

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