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Published:December 4th, 2012 12:32 EST

Town Hires Security Guards To Protect Evil 4-Story Straw Goat

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Attractive nuisance doctrine n. a legal doctrine which makes a person negligent for leaving a piece of equipment or other condition on property which would be both attractive and dangerous to curious children. These have included tractors, unguarded swimming pools, open pits, and abandoned refrigerators. Liability could be placed on the people owning or controlling the premises even when the child was a trespasser who sneaked on the property."


Free Dictionary

"A Swedish city is employing private security to protect its traditional four-story-tall straw goat from arsonists.

"`The front hoof smells of petrol," organizer Eje Berglund said at the Sunday inauguration.
The goat has been a popular target for vandals and arsonists in recent years."


A four-story-tall straw goat is an affront to humankind, and the very definition of an attractive nuisance. The creators of the straw monstrosity might as well have equipped it with a recording saying: Please burn me to the ground.

If I lived in Sweden I would make it a mission from God to burn the straw goat; every second that goat remains standing is a testament that evil often triumphs against good.

I don`t care that the goat is a pagan symbol; it`s the aesthetic absurdity that really make me go bonkers.

I plead with the solid citizens of Gavle, Sweden to burn the straw monstrosity to the ground. You can find refuge in the legal doctrine of attractive nuisance, and the handful of evangelicals in Sweden will rush to your defense.

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