"An alleged shoplifter was hit with a stun gun as he tried to escape from Target in Milford, according to police.
Milford Patch reports that man, identified as Michael Pete Harding, 50, of Grafton was trying to swipe a shopping cart full of items that included several cases of Red Bull, Tide detergent, and packages of Justin Bieber valentines."
At first glance it may seem that Harding`s haul is random and peculiar, but believe it or not he stole some very valuable commodities.
Tide bottles are ad hoc street currency, with a 150-ounce bottle going for about $10 worth of weed or a rock of crack. Your friendly neighborhood drug dealer won`t accept a check, but he won`t turn down a bottle of Tide.
Harding may have been planning to lug his shopping cart full of Justin Bieber valentines to a middle school, a young girl would do anything for any product that bears the image of her idol.
The shoplifter would have had no problem peddling the cases of Red Bull at any college, dorm students subsist on Red Bull, weed and Ramen noodles.
Or maybe this 50-year-old loser was planning on spending the weekend ogling Justin Bieber videos, and doing a month`s worth of dirty laundry.
In the Big House Harding will be doing everybody`s laundry, when the jailbirds discover he was busted with a shopping cart full of Justin Bieber valentines.
What a loser, I hope the cops tased him to within an inch of his life.
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