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Published:November 30th, 2013 13:15 EST

Zombie Apocalypse Is Here! Zombies Hit Department Stores For Christmas Sales! Video!

By Robert Paul Reyes

The Zombie Apocalypse isn`t just an Internet meme; it`s a dead-cold reality. Tens of thousands of zombies lined up outside of retail stores Thursday night November 28, 2013, deathly serious to buy crap they don`t need, with money they don`t have, to impress people they don`t like.


You`d think media coverage of these soulless zombies would discourage folks from joining their ranks, but the media spotlight has the opposite effect:

"Honey, look at our lousy 42-inch plasma TV, there`s hundreds of people lined up outside Best Buy. If you don`t get in line and buy us a 100-inch TV, I will never have sex with you again. Get your lazy butt off the sofa, or I`m going spend my evening with the pot-bellied next-door neighbor who has a crush on me, and watch adult flicks on his giant TV."

Is there anything we can do to fight the Zombie Apocalypse, and save Christmas? One man is taking a stand against this tide of consumerism run amuck; Mark Dice dressed as Santa and yelled at the zombies with a bullhorn, shaming them for destroying the spirit of Christmas.

Dice is a solitary voice crying in the wilderness, the zombies are impervious to his prophetic warnings. We need to join his choir, and shame anyone who tries to entice us with the spirit of mindless consumerism.

Be radical; don`t participate in the commercialization of Christmas. WWJD? He`d spend the holidays working for Habitat for Humanity, or cleaning the cages at the local animal shelter.


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