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Published:February 11th, 2014 10:23 EST
Jose Salvador Alvarenga`s Castaway Saga of Lost At Sea Survival Only Slowly Accepted as Truthful!

Jose Salvador Alvarenga`s Castaway Saga of Lost At Sea Survival Only Slowly Accepted as Truthful!

By John G. Kays

For the most part, the Jose Salvador Alvarenga castaway saga is coming to a head, what with yesterday`s departure from the Marshall Islands on a three-legged trip, first to Hawaii, then onward to California, and finally back to what was once his place of origin, El Salvador.

Jose`s zig-zagging repatriation is dizzying to me, but is probably no big deal to Jose, who is just coming off a 6,000 mile trek on the Pacific Ocean, on a shoddy little fishing boat, for a lengthy 13 month (hell-bent) sea cruise. I`d been a castaway myself, floating gently on the mellifluous streams of alternative news` currents; as such, I had to backtrack myself to January 30th, when Robinson Crusoe`s unlikely double was first found on the atoll Ebon!

Over the past couple of days, I did my homework, reviewing many articles posted by reputable news organizations that chronicle Jose Alvarenga`s shocking, and sometimes seemingly fanciful saga, of getting lost at sea, of losing his partner (Ezequiel Cordoba) from starvation, and of surviving on a (crazy) diet of fish, birds, and turtles, and of his drinking water being merely bird blood and (at times) his own urine. 

His poor partner couldn`t bring himself to eat and drink these ocean-bound creatures, so the poor fellow perished, after which Jose had to push his rotting carcass into the drink. This is fairly reasonable, what with the decomposition most likely emanating foul odors of deterioration. Who will blame him for this act of survival, as cold as it seems?

I must admit, and you probably experienced a similar sensation, but I just didn`t buy his story at first, thought it was grand hoax; yea, I couldn`t accept it as a genuine lost at sea, romantic saga, feeling as if Jose was just another opportunist seeking publicity, fame and fortune, along with a sizable archive of news footage he could show his progeny at some future date (of old-age glory).

I`d have to say, the lions share of my bilious skepticism is grounded in how he looked physically, with a thick, scraggily brown/red beard, long mangled hair, tarnished facial features, withered rags for clothes, and a limp that seemed faked (although it was real, I`ll admit)! Was this a costume for a new hit HBO series?

Okay, so Daniel Defoe`s Robinson Crusoe is one of my favorite novels, so that immediately rushed through my mind as I watched a tattered Alvarenga`s struggling limp pass gingerly across the lenses of aggressive news camcorders (really, from every corner of the globe). Furthermore, and I don`t want to come off as too corny or excessive, but I couldn`t help myself with vivid recollections of the hit 1960s television sitcom, Gilligan`s Island. 

Well, naturally, the theme song has been coursing through my mind repeatedly; how about you? Just to show you just how skewed my brain has gotten, lacking any semblance of journalistic objectivity, I even accused (in my mind) Jose of contriving this hoax in the wake of the recent departure of the Professor, Russell Johnson!

Alright, I realize, that`s completely looney toons; but many others thought Jose`s yarn was a bit too incredible, and probably unlikely. One item told to CNN, by a former lost at sea survivor, was that flocks of birds don`t exist in the middle of the ocean, but rather only close to the shores near land. This was reenforcement for me that the wool had been pulled over the collective eyes of the world. Moreover, how much blood is there in a captive bird (bird`s were like a 16 ounce bottled water for poor Alvarenga)? 

How do you catch a bird, open his cap top, then drink him down like he`s an alkaline Crazy Water? I`m not just being funny, I haven`t been getting it straight? I accept it now, but am still having problems with this canny castaway`s nearly perfect mechanics of survival! Jose is as smart, if not smarter than the blessed Professor, the Skipper (Alan Hale, Jr.), Ginger (Tina Louise), and Mary Ann (Dawn Wells) all combined, don`t you think?