February 19th, 2014 11:15 EST
Leanne Bearden`s Suicide Is Hardly Explained By 'Anxious,' Such As Josh Had Told ABC!
Love letters straight from your heart, Keep us so near while apart, I`m not a alone in the night, When I can have all the love you write. I memorize ev`ry line, And I kiss the name that you sign, And darlin` then I read again right from the start, Love letters straight from your heart. Love Letters - Victor Young/ Edward Heyman *(Used in the film Killing Them Softly)
Still, after Leanne Bearden`s body was located last Thursday (February 13th), in a woody area behind a home (21600 block of Fairview Circle) in Garden Ridge, I was left with an uneasy feeling, sensing that really no issues whatsoever had been resolved. Well, a preliminary conclusion is that Leanne committed suicide (the method is affixation); while this seems to be a sound finding, I am yet baffled and mystified by this apparent fact, when studying over the narrative of news that saturated the airwaves after January 17th.
I conclude, the two bodies of data are incompatible; I`m only working on my own strong intuition, but something`s not quite right here. My first hurling ball of blame is flung at myself for my story I wrote on Friday (Valentine`s Day - 2/14/`14); I hadn`t quite done my research as thoroughly as I should have, and an poignant email sent to me pointing that out was completely spot on!
The problem, as I see it, is that I didn`t start following Leanne Bearden`s interesting missing persons` case, until her body`d been discovered. Well, the most important piece of information I was missing, was Leanne`s blog documenting her many worldwide excursions with her husband Josh.
That blog has since been taken down, probably right after she was found, so I`ve never seen it. However, one can`t help but wonder, if the nearly two year world rendezvous was mostly a positive one, then why would that leave her so depressed when trying to adjust back to life in the States?
An ordinary reaction would be, I believe, that you`re totally traveled out, and are thus ready for a more settled, routine life or schedule; what I`m suggesting, is that most people`s wanderlust would be maxed out! But Josh`s statement to ABC (before we learn the tragic outcome) paints a different portrait (from mine) of what made Leanne tick.
Not that I don`t believe what he said, but it doesn`t flow out very natural (organically); it`s as if he thought it out very carefully, making sure it would mollify a suspicious public, who were not so convinced of the purported fact of Leanne quickly taking off on her own volition. To phrase it my own way, I`m equally anxious (as Leanne supposedly was) and troubled by his words.
I`m not suspicious of him really, nor do I suspect him of any wrong doing, but I do sense he`s conveniently leaving some things out and softening the edges a bit. I don`t know just why I feel that way; no doubt, the pressure emanating from a tremendous amount of national press coverage, most likely has something to do with what looks like a contrived cover story.
She was having some difficulties adjusting back to life in the United States after being on the road and she was talking to some of her friends and they had also done similar things like that. Traveling around the world and seeing all these things and then coming back - obviously she was anxious. I think anybody would be anxious in that situation. (Joshua Bearden talking to ABC News - Family Believes Missing Woman Leanne Bearden Left Voluntarily By Gillian Mohney and Anthony Castellano Feb. 2, 2014)
Could Josh have been any vaguer? Surely he must have some more specific reasons for why he thought Leanne was deeply depressed? Anxious comes off as being a euphemism for some other emotion she must have been experiencing; I can`t think what that emotion might have been (anger, hatred, self-loathing?), but it is inconceivable to me that feeling anxious is going to cause you (or motivate you) to kill yourself.
And what about not finding the body on the initial search? Had the family actually looked in that area (Fairview Circle) in the beginning? Still, I question why Texas Search and Rescue didn`t look around this area a wee bit more. I`m getting nowhere fast, so all you crack-shot investigative reporters, give me updates that will quell my misgivings (which are growing in number as I type away frantically)!