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Published:May 5th, 2014 14:50 EST

Redneck Robs Waffle House With a Pitchfork: Video

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A warrant charging a Georgia man with armed robbery has been issued after a 50-year-old suspect allegedly used a pitchfork to rob a Waffle House in Norcross.


Police are looking for Jeffery Wooten after he allegedly used the farm tool to herd employees and customers into the back room of the Waffle House so he could grab the cash register.

While he was carrying the register, Wooten dropped the pitchfork and a woman picked up the tool and began hitting him with it."


Waffle House restaurants are ubiquitous in the South; you can`t travel a country mile without passing at least a couple of them.

Waffle House diners are magnets for rednecks, toothless senior citizens and assorted riff-raff. If you don`t like drama with your coffee and waffles, you`d be well-advised to find another place to eat.

I can`t imagine a Denny`s or a Red Lobster robbed by a pitchfork-wielding robber, but it makes perfect sense that a good old boy robbed a Waffle House with a pitchfork.

Wooten dropped the pitchfork as he was fleeing the restaurant, and a woman picked up the tool and beat the hell out of him with it. To add insult to injury somebody else grabbed the pitchfork and smashed a window on Wooten`s pickup truck before he was finally able to escape.

When the cops catch up with Wooten they will probably administer some Southern justice: They will make a human kabob out of him using his pitchfork, and grill him on the back of his pickup. That`s just the way folks roll in the South...

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