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Published:June 5th, 2014 11:38 EST

Canadian Cad Commits Creepy Act With Cucumber at Library

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Canadian man is accused of acting in a manner that could be described as the opposite of cool after he allegedly committed a lewd act with a cucumber at a public library in Toronto.


During the April incident, Fredrick Tennyson Davis allegedly sat down next to a 26-year-old woman, popped open his laptop and then began to commit an indecent act while holding a cucumber."


There is no truth to the rumor that the pervert was Justin Bieber.

The freak avoided capture after the incident, but he returned to the library about a month later, cucumber in hand.

A library patron recognized Davis from the earlier incident and called the cops.

Thank goodness for the Internet, libraries have become the province of the homeless, the mentally ill and assorted riff-raff.


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