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Published:October 17th, 2014 20:59 EST

Creepy Clown Sightings Go Nationwide! Halloween from Hell!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The rash of creepy clown sightings in California appears to have spread nationwide, with reported en-clown-ters in Florida, Indiana and New Mexico."




On unlucky October 13, 2014 I wrote this essay about an evil clown that was terrorizing the town of Wasco, California:


I imagined I wouldn`t have to revisit this horrifying subject anytime soon, but I was wrong, dead wrong.


These creepy sightings in California have spread nationwide; nobody is safe from these malevolent clowns.


I saw one of these creepy clowns in my neck of the woods the other day, and I almost suffered a heart attack.


I realize Halloween is right around the corner, and I`ve braced myself to encounter all sorts of weird and frightening sights: Middle-aged suburban housewives dressed as hookers, tweens dressed as Miley Cyrus, and out-of-shape old men decked out like superheroes.


But there`s nothing more frightening than a clown just standing there, not brandishing a weapon or yelling threats, just standing there like a Praying Mantis from hell.


I have a weak heart and an even weaker stomache, for the love of God please pray that I will survive this infestation of evil clowns from hell.


I can deal with the Ebola epidemic, and I ain`t scared of ISIS, but I`m giving the wicked clowns a wide berth.



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