November 7th, 2014 10:56 EST
Digital Dating in a Modern World
By Maya Ezratti, Relationship Expert, CDO " Chief Dating Officer
What`s Love Got to Do With It? "
In today`s global world with cell phones running our lives and amazing technology distracting us from day to day interactions, people are having a harder time meeting other people. Socializing has taken on a whole new form and the human interaction component is waning at the rapid fire pace of Tinder clicks and Facebook likes. While it`s true that there are countless new options and choices for meeting men and women, people are still struggling in their romantic lives saying, I just can`t meet anyone! "
So what`s a woman, in today`s modern technosphere, able to do about her love life?
It`s quite simple actually. As much as we are becoming more modernized and tasks are becoming more computerized and simplified, traditional dating seems to be going the way of the horse and buggy. But it doesn`t need to be, because when it comes to dating, romance and love, the old fashioned values still prevail!
Get online! Take advantage of modern times by having the best online profile with 3-4 professionally shot pics along with a quick and easy bio. Make sure to look your best and keep it simple. Join at least 2 online dating websites and sign up for the best subscription package you can afford. The free dating websites should be a turnoff to you. Who wants a man that doesn`t even want to spend $60 to meet the woman of his dreams? Free dating is cheap dating which equals a man who is more concerned with himself and counting his pennies than finding a woman to be happy with. And please, forget about Tinder! Tinder Off.
Men and women are romantically different. The man has to pursue the woman especially in the beginning. Men have different emotional responses than women and vice versa. Men like the thrill of the chase! They should be the ones to approach you and talk to you first. Men enjoy the thrill in the same way they enjoy competing in sports and betting on games. When a woman pursues a man, he gets bored very quickly. He may be flattered at first, but it throws nature`s intentions off balance. If he`s not calling you, talking to you, texting you for dates and asking you out, then he`s not into you, he is involved with someone else or he just didn`t like your look or your voice. Move on!
TEXT ALERT! Put the phone down!
Technology is fun, apps are awesome and selfies rock! But if you`re serious about meeting a man, then please, stop texting! When you`re texting back and forth with a guy all day it shows that you`ve got nothing else going on, nowhere to be and nothing better to do than stare at your phone and play with the keyboard. Instead, put your phone away and only respond to texts that relate to dating, such as when he writes, I had a really great time meeting you. I`d like to take you out again. Are you free this weekend? " But chit chatting about nothingness and responding to nonsense texts like, Hey! " and What`s up? " is absolutely absurd! You`re better than that.
Biggest mistake women make:
They act like men, they ask men out, they become the aggressors, they call and text and call and call again and bombard men. They pull out their own chairs, they open their own doors and worst of all, they pay for the date!!! It`s a double edged sword for women because we finally have a chance to make it big in the professional arena and be equal to men, but when it comes to romance, we can`t become men. Women become masculine and it throws off the energy and balance in romance. Then a woman gets upset when a man isn`t treating her lovingly or thinking of her romantically. Well, you just showed him you can DO IT ALL by yourself and that he`s not really needed. Women need to remember to be patient and allow the guy to be the man! Men want to date a woman, not compete against another masculine energy.
Fun and Games:
Dating is not game playing. It`s about strategy. It`s about knowing how to successfully navigate your love life the same way you would know how to behave and interact at work or in school, for example. When people say, I hate the games! I`m not into games. I`m just going to be an open book and tell him everything about me right up front. I`m being honest with him and with myself. " Really??? You`re going to tell a stranger, a man you JUST met, your ENTIRE life story? He doesn`t have to ever ask you out again! You just told him EVERYTHING about you in less than five minutes. A romantic prospect just became your therapist instead of your lover, boyfriend or husband. Done. Over. Next!
So live and date within the boundaries of love and life and remember, if he`s not calling you or texting you to ASK YOU OUT ON A DATE, then he`s so not into you! Stop wasting time on #deadendrelationships and focus on what`s really happening right in front of you. Boy meets girl. Boy asks girl out for a date. They meet. They either like each other and want another date or they don`t. Plain and simple. When a man wants you, he`ll make sure you know it. If he wants to date you, he won`t be shy, he`ll ask to date you. Don`t make excuses for men like, He`s just shy. " Or, He`s just getting over a breakup and that`s why he hasn`t called. " He may be shy and may be getting over someone, but even the shiest guy will approach a girl he is interested in if she`s his look and his type. And even a brokenhearted man will be able to shack up and find love with a new woman rather quickly, it may not be you, but he`ll be with someone for sure!
So #ModernMavens, get yourself online and up off the couch! Show up to singles events, go on singles vacations and take up new hobbies, sports, activities and classes. People are all around us! Put the phone down and good luck!