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Published:January 23rd, 2015 11:46 EST

Doomsday Clock: Three Minutes to Midnight! Video!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists said they reset the Doomsday Clock to three minutes to midnight, meaning the probability of global catastrophe is very high."



In my humble opinion the Doomsday Clock should be reset to three seconds to midnight! Why you ask? This is why:

Lena Dunham`s obsession with displaying her pale flabby naked butt on HBO! Miley Cyrus twerking her flat butt and flicking her obscenely long tongue! Nicki Minaj`s grotesquely big butt! Out of focus UFO videos! My obsession with the butts of bimbo celebs! The Deflate-gate scandal threatening to bring down the Super Bowl and thus destroying Western Civilization. John Boehner`s penchant for crying at the drop of a hat! Skorts! The birth of the Antichrist, aka as North West! Justin Bieber! Robin Thicke! Candy corn! ISIS! Zombies! Joe Biden! Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush, and Mitt Romney running for president! Windows 8! Obamacare! Iggy Azalea`s appropriation of African Americn culture! American Sniper`s fake baby! Mom jeans! Facebook requests to play Candy Crush! Bill Cosby! Dr. Phil`s bald head that looks as if it was polished by the devil himself! Lindsay Lohan! Pat Robertson`s demented prophetic babbling! Obama interviewed by YouTube star GloZell! The boy who didn`t come back from heaven!

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