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Published:July 3rd, 2015 11:38 EST

Abomination: New Bubble Wrap Will No Longer Pop When You Squeeze It

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Sealed Air, which has sold Bubble Wrap since 1960, has a new version of its protective wrapping coming out called iBubble Wrap, according to the Wall Street Journal.


It`s sold flat and airless, making it easier to store and ship. A single truckload of iBubble Wrap can hold as much packaging material as 47 truckloads of the old stuff, the Journal said.

iBubble Wrap is inflated with a custom pump by the companies that use it as shipping material.

The air bubbles in iBubble Wrap are filled in columns, and the bubbles in each column are connected. Press on one, and there`s no cathartic POP!"as in traditional Bubble Wrap."

Huffington Post

I`m a kid at heart, and the best part about getting a new TV or computer is popping the Bubble Wrap. Popping the Bubble Wrap is a more cathartic, fulfilling and joyful experience than logging on to the computer or turning on the TV.

Bubble Wrap that doesn`t pop is like a vibrator that doesn`t vibrate or a gun that doesn`t shoot; damn the Bubble Wrap company straight to hell for depriving us of one of the simple pleasures of life.

I hope the original Bubble Wrap will still be manufactured and sold as a toy for children from the ages of two to ninety-two.

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