September 5th, 2018 18:44 EST
Cat Lady Needs to Get a Clue!
"DEAR JOAN: My cat has started waking me up at 4 a.m. every morning to be fed. She won`t take no for an answer. She walks all over me, swats my nose, meows in my ear and knocks things off my dresser if I don`t respond.
If I try locking her out of my room, she scratches at the door and howls. She won`t stop. She once continued with that behavior for two hours until I finally gave up and fed her.
What can be done to stop this? I love my cat, but 4 in the morning, especially on a weekend, is too much."
The Mercury News
Dear Clueless Cat Lady: Get a clue!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a biological imperative to risk getting run over to discover that was on the other side.
Why is your kitty waking you up at an ungodly hour in the morning to be fed? It`s not because she is a diabetic with cravings that must be sated, like all cats she`s a jerk, plain and simple. I love my cats to death, but I accept that jerk-life behavior is as normal as purring and meowing.
What can be done to stop this? Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! A cat is the master of any home, especially a home where the only occupant is a cat lady. A feline expects nothing less than to be catered to at any hour of the day or night.
Your cat literally walks all over you, get used to it, that`s a small price to pay for having a kitty in your home.