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Published:January 9th, 2019 18:01 EST
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Donald Trump's Oval Office Address: A Nation Vomits! Video!

By Robert Paul Reyes

On Tuesday night Donald Trump delivered his first Oval Office address, the prime time speech was dedicated to his obsession of building a tower in Moscow, my bad, I mean building a wall on our southern border.

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His words are of no consequence, the only things that ever emanate from his sphincter-shaped mouth are little white lies, huge ugly lies and ridiculous lies. I might as well try to parse the meanings of his farts after he gets an upset stomach from eating too many tacos and milkshakes.

Trump didn`t deviate from the script on the teleprompter, therefore he didn`t make any headlines for uttering idiotic statements as he is wont to do when he speaks extemporaneously.

There was only one stationary camera, and I had no choice but to focus on Trump`s face, and what a revolting countenance it is: the urine-colored cotton candy hair, the aforementioned sphincter-shaped mouth, the orange complexion, his double chin, and the pasty white circles around his eyes. The horror, the horror!

Although the words Trump spoke don`t matter, the way he spoke does warrant attention. Trump sometimes took no pauses between phrases, as if he wanted to get through with the damn thing as quickly as possible. Let`s just say that he`s not a master of phrasing like the late great Frank Sinatra.

Then there`s that annoying sniffling that always makes an appearance when the great bloviator makes an important speech. They say Trump doesn`t drink or do drugs, but I wouldn`t be surprised if he likes coke the drug as much as he likes Coke the soda.

If you didn`t watch the speech last night, and you have a masochistic streak, here`s a link:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes: http://robertpaulreyes.com