Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:March 20th, 2019 17:41 EST

Mike Gravel for President of the United States

By Robert Paul Reyes

There are a hundred and one reasons why Donald Trump shouldn`t be president of the United States, and we often overlook one disqualifying factor: his age.


The septuagenarian president has been in re-election mode since his inauguration, and the two leading Democratic challengers (former vice president Joe Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders) will be in their late seventies by 2020.

It`s not ageist to point out the obvious: if your daily routine includes putting on a fresh pair of adult diapers you are too freaking old to hold the most stressful job in the world.

The aforementioned septuagenarians better make way for an octogenarian that has just joined the crowded Democratic presidential field, former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel.

Gravel, 88, is as energetic as Beto, minus the spastic arm waving, and he`s full of piss and vinegar -- eager to shake up the Democratic primary season.

Gravel announced his candidacy not by Telegram but via a tweet:

The goal will not be to win, but to bring a critique of American imperialism to the Democratic debate stage.

How refreshing that from the outset Gravel publicly acknowledges that he doesn`t have a snowball`s chance in hell of winning.

The Eleventh Commandment was a phrase used by President Ronald Reagan during his 1966 campaign for Governor of California. The Commandment reads: Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican. The Democratic presidential hopefuls have adopted this motto for the 2020 election cycle, they refuse to criticize each other.

Gravel not so much!

This is what he had to say about Rep. Tulsi Gabbard:

She is a wonderful public servant, and she and I agree on many issues. That being said, her campaigning has been ineffective, her stance on Israel needs tweaking, and she lacks the bluntness necessary to get the message across.

He may actually have done Gabbard a favor by reprimanding her, she`s such a non-entity that hardly anybody mentions her.

Gavel cut Senator Amy Klobuchar to shreds with this withering tweet:

@amyklobuchar it`s hard to fight the big tech firms that abuse American workers when you also like to abuse American workers.

Gravel is as old school as a dinosaur and he isn`t afraid of being called sexist by politically-correct wimps for condemning Klobuchar for the horrible way she treats her staff.

Gravel ridiculed Sen. Cory Booker`s Spartacus moment during the Kavanaugh hearing.

Spartacus moment. This is me, in 1971, reading the Pentagon Papers into the record for hours on end, risking expulsion from the Senate. That`s real courage, Cory.`

He reserved his most potent vitriol for former vice president Joe Biden:

I sure do hope the faucets at @JoeBiden`s house are strong, with the amount of Iraqi blood on his hands.

We don`t need old codgers the likes of Trump, Biden and Sanders running for president, but thank God Gravel is running, he`s destined to make the 2020 presidential race entertaining and educational.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes: